Why not me?

Loss of a friend or family member shakes our sense of well-being. Our initial disbelief that such a tragedy can occur transforms first to anger and then survivor’s guilt. The Aurora, Colorado movie theatre shooting sharpens our perception of mortality.

Let’s explore the grieving process. Losing a friend or family member is one of the most distressing events in life. Bereavement transports us through a dark tunnel of sorrow, numbness, and guilt.

              Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross describes the six stages of grief as denial, isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

              *Denial leads to isolation and withdrawal from social contacts.

              *We become angry at someone or something perceived as the perpetrator of death, even if there may have been nothing to prevent it.

              *The griever might “bargain with God” to reverse the loss.

              *Depression and sadness follow.

              *We accept the loss when anger and sadness fade.

              However, not everyone moves through these five stages, and the stages might not be chronological.

“Complex grief” is more intricate. It is characterized by:

              *Intense longing for the deceased.

              *Difficulty accepting death, with prolonged sorrow and bitterness.

              *Withdrawal from social activities, lack of trust, irritability, and agitation.

              *Suicidal thoughts.

              People with complex grief might not recover from their symptoms. If so, social interaction and job performance suffers.

              There is, however, encouraging news. Psychotherapy helps with adjustment to loss, redefining life goals, coping skills, and reduction of blame and guilt. Prescription anti-depressants improve mood, sleep, energy, concentration, and appetite.

              Stay connected with friends, coworkers, and relatives. Support groups provide sharing, comfort, and new relationships.

              Limit solitary activities at the TV or computer. Minimize exposure to the news if an event is broadcast 24/7. Take up a sport or new hobby.

              Don’t forget that exercise relieves stress and anxiety. Stay connected with friends, coworkers, and relatives. Support groups provide experience sharing, comfort, and new relationships.

              If you are out of touch with spiritual practices and beliefs that were once meaningful to you, get connected with a church or synagogue. Those with religious support survive tragedy psychologically more intact.

              Take care of your health, and get a physical if it has been a while.

             

              A useful website is “The Grief Recovery Institute Guidance Center”:

www.tributes.com/grief_recovery_center/questions_and_answers

          "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal". From an Irish headstone.

                                         
Ancient grains are not bird seed.

Considering the obesity epidemic and aging population, I’ve been thinking about painless ways to change eating habits. Familiar routines are hard to break. We tend to reach for the same foods and are not adventurous with trying new tastes.

                New products are available that encourage us to try grains that have been around since ancient times. Yesterday I microwaved a packet of pre-cooked quinea mixed with rice. When I opened it, the rich fragrance encouraged me to mouth a half spoonful. I savored the full-bodied mixture.

                Why bother with “ancient grains?” These victuals not only fill you up but also reduce risk of colon cancer, obesity, heart disease, and hypertension. According to American Dietetic Association guidelines, the most important foods are whole grain, high-fiber carbohydrates. Read labels when shopping for whole grain foods. They should be listed as the first ingredient.

                For meal planning, consider reducing corn products and white flour, which are low in protein and fiber. Instead, add more nuts, beans, buckwheat, flax cereal, oatmeal, and barley. The U.S. Department of Agriculture recommends that at least half of grains we eat should be whole, such as intact, ground, cracked, or flaked.

               

Doctor Clem recommends including these eight grains in your meals.

                *Amaranth: The Aztecs cultivated this high protein grain, rich in calcium, folic acid, magnesium, and potassium. It’s used in breakfast porridge, pancake batter, salads, and soups.

*Buckwheat: This grain is common in Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe. It can be used in pancakes, noodles, side dishes, and salads. It is rich in protein, calcium, iron, manganese, potassium, and zinc.

*Farro (emmer): One of the first crops cultivated in the near East, is loaded with fiber, iron, magnesium, niacin, and zinc. It enhances the taste and texture of salads, side dishes, and baked goods.

*Millet: High in magnesium, and one of the earliest cultivated crops. It’s a staple in China, Africa, and India. Millet is used in baking, as a side dish, and mixed into salads. Some people eat it as a snack.

*Quinea (pronounced “kin-wah”): An ancient South American treat known as the “mother of all grains.” It’s protein rich and is fortified with iron, phosphorus, and potassium. If it’ not pre-cooked, rinse it off first. The saponin coating has a bitter taste. After fifteen minutes of cooking, serve it as a side dish or add it soups and salads.

*Rye: An ingredient in bread and crackers. It’s served as side dish or added to soups and salads. Soaking it overnight shortens the cooking time. Rye is high in folic acid, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, and riboflavin.

*Sorghum: Popular in Africa, and rich in fiber, niacin, phosphorus. In India, sorghum is baked into flatbread. It is ground into flour for baked goods in the U.S...

*Teff: One of the tiniest grains, the seeds are smaller than a pinhead. Teff is high in calcium and Vitamin C, and is an ingredient in cereals. In Ethiopia, teff is ground into flour and baked into injera, a soft, spongy bread. It can be sprinkled on salads and added to soups. 

Here is a link for vegetarian and ancient grains recipes. http://www.wholegrainscouncil.org/recipes

Source: First Report Managed Care, Special Disease State Update, June 2012.

Consumer Reports, On Health, Vol. 24, Number 7, July 2012.