Recurrent Breast Cancer

Monday, October 13, 2014

   Marriages Fall Apart

It’s important to recognize and nurture your relationship with your spouse. The purpose of a home and marriage is to have someone to go home to. If you look forward to returning home after a grueling day, your marriage re-energizes. You have no trouble talking to your partner. Communication is crucial for a marriage to succeed.   

There should be a meaningful exchange of thoughts, feelings, hopes and anxieties. These might be related to the marriage and could impact on the relationship. 

Share with your spouse the same financial priorities. Money issues are common reasons for breakup. If you and your spouse agree on spending and saving issues, you’re among the the lucky few who are financially compatible. This allows smooth planning for vacations and special events. 

Both partners must keep communication open and operable. They need to give each other space. No marriage can sustain all the requirements of a partner. A husband needs buddies to go golfing. The wife might be happier shopping with friends. If you both follow individual interests and social lives without distrust and jealousy, it’s a sign of a mature marriage. 

Both partners should be tuned to each other’s sexual needs. Sex is an important indicator of marriage health. Marriages without sexual compatibility can fail.  It’s is crucial to understand your partner’s sexual needs and be ready to take steps towards fulfilling them. Taking time out from family business is crucial for a couple to stay together. 

 Once partners get busy raising a family and climbing the professional ladder, planning dates and vacations take a backseat. If you continue to set aside some time for each other, it will keep the magic alive. 

You and your spouse should have mutual interests.  The best way to be together is to share hobbies. This allows for stress free conversation to create something new. 

Marriages have disagreements. Resolve these according to certain rules without emotional blackmail.
Interact with other happily married couples

Recent studies show that if you have divorced friends or siblings, your marriage is more likely to break up than if you have happily married friends. 

If you hang out with people who think nothing of cheating on their partners, you’ll find nothing wrong with it. On the other hand, if your social circle consists of long-married happy couples, it’s a positive and stabilizing influence on your own marriage.

Continue with “silly” things that you and your spouse did for each other before you married. Remember tracing letters on his bare back and asking him to guess the words? He could take her to the zoo and imitate every animal seen till she is helpless with laughter and begs you to stop. If you’re mature enough to be silly now and then, you and your spouse have a good chance of making it to your golden wedding anniversary and beyond. 

Guys, try these techniques. Take her out for a surprise dinner date. Pay attention to your appearance and fitness level. Make her a surprise dinner at home with wine. Give her a foot massage. Don’t hog the blankets and comforters. Wash your clothes separately from your wife’s.
Pay attention to what she likes and doesn’t like. 
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
 -Erma Bombeck

Questions or comments? Contact Dr. Clem at